July 30

A lot of people say that relapse is apart of recovery. But it's not a requirement. Relapse is one of the things that doesn't necessarily scare me, but I am aware of it. And I respect it.  From what I have learned is that when people do relapse it actually happens long before they take the first drink or drug. They stop doing what they are suppose to be doing and forget what they have been doing that got them to where they are. And once that sets in it's a battle to get back on track. I had been thinking about that for a while today as I can't seem to get back into paddling since I took time off. I got out of my routine of paddling everyday, and even though I am back to paddling it's taking me a while to get mentally back in it. While I know I can't help having to take days off, I can be aware that it's going to take a little time to get back into it. Even if it wasn't that long of a time I was gone, I stopped what I had been doing everyday and I'm paying for it. And that's why I always try to remember what got me to the point I'm at today in my recovery, so I don't have to pay for it.