November 17


I packed up ready to hit the water. The day off was definitely needed but I was ready to go. I got talking to the guy checking me out. We were talking about adventure trips. When I gave him my card and told him why I was doing it he asked “are you an addict?”  It took me by surprise. I don’t know why it took me by surprise but it did. I’m not sure if it was the combination of how and the exact words he said but it definitely hit me. Are you an addict? Yes I am. It’s something that I forget sometimes. Forgetting that I’m an addict is a very dangerous situation to be in. It’s something that I have to constantly remind myself. Even though I haven’t touched any mind altering substance for almost two and a half years I am still an addict.  The moment I forget that and think that I can have a drink or use drugs just once, for me it’s game over. I know that I won’t stop. I might not see the direct results right away. I could probably drink or use drugs one day and be fine. But I know that it will creep right back up on me and I will quickly crawl right back into the same pattern that I was in daily. And that’s not a risk I am willing to take. Knowing and keeping it fresh in my mind that I’m an addict is something that I have to have a constant reminder of if I want to continue to live the life I have been given a second chance at.